But I don't want to give up.

You aren't giving up.

Dying and death are part of life.  No, really, they are.  Our bodies are amazing, but they wear out, things stop working, things breakdown.

You are not giving up.  You are allowing yourself to transition to the next step.  You don't remember being born, you don't remember taking your first roll or your first steps.  You may remember puberty, procreation, giving birth (or not).  All of these things are transitions your body is going though, natural processes.  So is dying.  So is death.

When is enough?

When you don't feel like you want to be stuck with needles and IVs anymore.
When you feel you don't want to have another surgery.
When you feel like you are tired of hospitals and doctors and nurses and clerks.
When you feel that you just want to spent time with your family or at the beach or at home and not do this anymore.

Enough is when you realize that maybe your body is trying to tell you it has had enough.

Enough is when you decide it is.

And that is okay.  You are allowed to say, "enough".

They told me cancer, now what?

If you receive a cancer diagnosis you should always get a second opinion and possibly a third depending on the type of cancer and if the oncologist you first met with specializes in your type of cancer.

Questions to ask:

1) What is the cure rate?

2) Survival rate?

3) It there a targeted treatment for this type, or is it more of a guessing game?

Now the question you really need to ask the oncologist - If this was you sitting here, would you go through the treatment that you are proposing to me?

Ask him/her to be honest.

Now you have some information.  

Now everyone, and I mean everyone is going to have some story of how their best friend's cousin's sister's ex-husband beat cancer by going onto some diet or to some doctor or some cancer center.  Everyone is going to tell you to fight and be strong and that you are going to beat it.  

Watch out for those things.  They can distract you from following your doctor's plan, they can also distract you from the realities of your odds and making the best choices for yourself.

If the long term survival rate for your cancer is 20%, that means 80% of the people died.  

Almost everyone of that 80% thought that they would be in the 20% who would beat this.

When you start researching your cancer, look at the survival rates or patients with and without chemo, or radiation, etc.  That's how you'll be able to make a better decision.  

If the rates are the same or within weeks or months of each other, you may wish to look into other options.  

You need to decide how you want to live the rest of your life for the time you have left.